Hell Or High Water
by everyone'ssister
Summary: Tag for 12.06, Celebrating The Life Of Asa Fox. Sam is enraged with Dean for striking another deal with Billie. And did a standard exorcism work on such a powerful demon, or is he still after Sam; the one vessel that survived?
1. Part 1

HELL OR HIGH WATER

 _Sam goes to use the bathroom after breakfast leaving Dean and Mary alone, sitting across from each other. Dean sips on his coffee, his eyes scanning the beautiful day outside. Mary wraps her chilled fingers around her warm coffee mug and looks at him. Marveling at and a little intimidated by this man._

 _"So Billie is a reaper, like a death reaper? And she wants you dead?" She asks slowly._

 _He nods, "Yeah pretty much. After we offed the horseman Death, the reapers decided we'd cheated them one too many times. Billie is all too eager to reap our souls and ensure we never make it back again."_

 _"Wasn't that kind of dangerous then, dealing with her like that?" She says, finger tips slipping slowly around the rim of her coffee mug._

 _Dean laughs in the back of his throat, averting his eyes back outside, and Mary realizes he's scoffing at her._

 _"This wasn't the first time was it?"_

 _His eyes meet hers sharply for the first time since they reunited, he relaxes slowly as the tension that filled him in the last millisecond bleeds away._

 _"Yeah well," he shrugs and leans forward, wiping a hand over his mouth and dropping his voice. "Don't make a big deal out of it, Sammy doesn't know." Doesn't tell her that this time around was a walk in the park, last time he almost died...did die; he killed himself._

 _She looks troubled. "Why?" And he knows she's not asking why Sam doesn't know, but why he risked what he risked._

 _Dean shrugs and she sees deep disdain flash over his countenance, followed by the cold killer hunter glinting in his eyes. Then it's just Dean sitting there, his smile is warm and his eyes light up with something he sees across the room._

 _"Because it's Sammy." He answers with a smug grin and she turns around to find her youngest son moving towards them, a dimpled smile still on his lips where he'd been smiling at Dean a mere moment before. A brotherly moment she would have missed if she hadn't been watching Dean so closely._

 _She's seen them exchange those looks before, thousands of words passed between them with one look. They move as one, they think as one...and argue like an old married couple...she's never seen anything quite so extraordinary._

 _"Everything good?" Sam asks, as he slides into his seat beside her._

 _Mary would bet money Sam had seen the other, not so warm and cuddly sides of Dean flash over his face as he left the bathroom. She realizes that was probably why Dean had calmed so quickly too, he'd seen Sam coming before she even realized she'd provoked him by calling up dark memories...see? She had still missed a huge part of what had happened in that moment. She's doesn't know them at all._

 _"Yeah, we're great." Dean answers. "You almost done?" He asks, pointing to Sam's coffee, "Got a long drive back home."_

 _"It's not that far." Sam says easily, tapping away on his iPad and sipping his hot coffee._

 _"We're in effing Canada, Sam." Dean replies flatly._

 _Sam doesn't blink an eye, sips from his cup again, "Don't rush me Dean."_

 _Dean rolls his eyes and lets out a long suffering sigh and waves for the waitress to bring more coffee over. Mary's heart warms as she watches them and shakes her head, laughing at their antics. This is what she meant, one moment they're unexplainably in tune with each other and then the next they're bickering like children. She realizes that they're, never in fact, out of tune with each other. But that there's only a handful of times Mary can actually detect them. They're amazing._

...

The car is generally silent on the way home. It's a killer of a drive back to Kansas but Sam can already tell Dean is indisputably going to make it one go. In all fairness to him though, Sam must say he stops every time Sam asks him too. They get the giggles terribly when they get milkshakes at eleven p.m. and Dean is starting to rub at his eyes.

They're out of breath and still rolling with laughter at Mrs. Fox's glasses. Dean insists they looked like little mini windshields, but Sam is hysterical with his older brother's previous observation that the woman looked like a completely drunk beetle bug.

Dean scares the crap out of them both as he swerves into the opposite lane and gets about fifty cars beeping at him. He yelps in shock and quickly wipes the laughter tears from his eyes.

Usually Sam would be mad, but this only pushes him further. "Need some glasses Dean?" He teases, through giggles, "I know where I can get a nice pair."

"Oh shut up," Dean shoots back, hand shooting out over the seat between them and trying to find some part of Sam to pinch.

Sam just laughs and presses himself against the door and away from Dean. His big brother finally gives up and relaxes back into his seat and begins radio surfing. Sam sighs through his last few peals of laughter and relaxes too. A comfortable silence fills the car between them, and Sam's mind starts wandering to think back over the last few hours.

He's proud with the way Dean had behaved towards their mom. True, Dean didn't necessarily agree with their mother's actions but he hadn't been a jerk. It was a very difficult situation and Sam can't help but feel Dean is trying even harder than Mary.

He's surprised when Dean asks her to join them for breakfast but thinks he probably shouldn't be, after all Dean wouldn't stop at anything when it came to family. He had behaved admirably at breakfast even though Sam could feel his tension, a flavor of coldness.

He realizes they're pushing their luck when he comes out of the bathroom to find his brother's eyes already on him. Cold, predatory and dangerous all flashing across his brother's countenance in a mere millisecond. The next he's a clear smile, wrinkles by his eyes showing with the sincerity of it.

And Sam knows the stress is telling on him, knows there had been a few minutes of near paralyzing panic when he realized Sam was stuck inside...and he was stuck outside. Can only imagine the way Billie showing up had scared him...was she here to reap Sam or not? So what had Dean done? What kind of stupid deal had he struck up with her?

Knows the strain of their mom being there was telling on his nerves and Dean was about done putting up face. Dean was incredibly good at pretending, but deep down his brother was the sincerest of people, he couldn't hold back his frustrations for long. So Sam joins them quickly taking Mary's attention off of him and soothing over some sort of irritation between them that Mary didn't comprehend.

And that he totally understood. While Mary might be trying to catch up on the world and things that had happened since she died, she wasn't getting to know them any better. There were about a million completely innocent things she could say to his brother to trigger him. Sam had years and years of practice reading his ticks and learning how to calm him and avoid complete crash and burn...famous last words.

"So what was with Billie last night?" He asks innocently, as he thinks back to her words. 'You owe me one.' What had Dean done?

Dean shrugs.

"Sounded an awful lot like a deal to me." Sam says, not looking at him, eyes out the window.

He can feel Dean's eyes fall sharply on him across the seat. "Yeah well, I had to get in."

"So it was a deal?" Sam asks, voice strained, his head snapping around to look at Dean.

His brother swallows. "Not in so many words, but well, I owe her one I guess."

"You guess?" Sam snaps rather sharply, feels the familiar ball of fear and nausea in his stomach at the thought of loosing Dean.

"Sam." His brother's voice is taunt and holds that authoritative note in it. "It had to be done. What did you want me to do, just leave you in there to die? Newsflash, that's not really my MO. I will always, no matter the cost, come for you."

"Great." Sam throws his hands up in defeat. "We'll just put that one down in the Dean Winchester Book Of Stupid Ideas right by 'sell your soul to a crossroads demon' and 'ask Cain to give you his freaking mark'."

A cold, bitter smile slides over Dean's face, "No arguments here on that."

"Damnit, Dean!" Sam spits out, "This isn't funny."

He gets no response and the last hour passes in sullen silences by both the boys. Dean pulls the impala into the bunker's garage and uncranks her. Sam just wrenches the door open and reaches into the back seat for his bag.

"Look Sammy," Dean says slowly, "I don't wanna fight with you. But if what you're looking for is an apology you're not getting it. I'd do it the same all over again."

Sam looks at him for a moment, attempting to be distant, but mostly just hurt and fear reflects in his ever expressive eyes. He takes a deep breath. "Entirely ignoring the risk it was to you, Dean..." he says, obviously angry with the lack of concern Dean shows towards himself.

"...it still almost cost us mom."

Then he's gone, Impala door slamming shut behind him and he disappears up the stairs.

"Shit." Dean curses.

...

Three hours later Sam jerks awake remembering a hunt from a few years back where a standard exorcism hadn't done the trick, the too powerful demon had feigned the exorcism and ambushed them later on, their mistake had almost cost them their lives.

He also realizes he never heard Dean come in. Jael's words are echoing in his mind as he hurries down the halls with his angel blade and into the garage.

" _The idea that he left a_ meat suit _alive_ _is just so deliciously weak. As for the rest of you_..."

Jael had meant to kill everyone else, including Dean, and keep Sam alive and seemed pretty thrilled with his discovery of Sam's survival. Which meant if their exorcism had been only temporary, if Jael had been too powerful he'd be looking for Sam. And that meant he'd be looking for Dean too.

Sam tells himself it's the stupidest crazy-dream induced theory ever but the empty garage and Baby's driver door left open says otherwise. He feels like such a hypocrite, but doesn't care as he thinks feverishly, _I'm coming for you Dean._

Hell of high water the Winchesters will always look after their own.

...

 _Sam is taking advantage of the last few bars of wifi as they leave the restaurant and Dean and Mary walk ahead of him towards their cars. He's in a quiet, steadfast mood. She likes the way his lips shut, but turn up just a touch. As if awarding the world with a teasing hint at the true glories of his full fledged smile._

 _"This morning at Asa's..." she starts._

 _He raises his eyebrows and looks down at her, "Yeah? What about it?"_

 _She bites the side of her mouth and then looks him straight in the eye. "I saw the look on your face. You wouldn't have stopped me, would you've?"_

 _He looks at her steadily, green eyes sparkling in the sunlight, she's overwhelmed by the love there but is impressed with the strength and conviction there too._

 _"No. No I wouldn't've."_

tbc...

Can't wait to have some fun on this short hiatus!

Review if you like this!


	2. Part 2

Part 2.

 _Dean is chopping wood for the funeral pyre and Mary stoops to gather some into her arms. It's a grim thing to be doing in the morning twilight with birds beginning to sing and chill filling the morning air with excitement for the upcoming day. Dean's mouth is a straight, determined line as he swings the axe again, perfect aim falling and splitting a log precisely. Mary wonders how many times her sons have done this, for how many people, how many loved ones?_

 _She guesses by the subtle, heart-heavy looks her boys are exchanging, more times than she wanted to know. But it makes her wonder even more why hadn't they stopped? From what she had heard Dean and Sam Winchester could do just about anything they set their minds to. So why hadn't they stuck their middle fingers up at hunting and supernatural beings and just hidden themselves away in some mountain cabin and started a life for themselves?_

 _Dean pauses. So she takes the opportunity._

 _"How many times have you done this?"_

 _He looks at her, tension coursing through him like a live wire. "More times than I care to count."_

 _"Why don't you just quit, I mean, sooner or later it's going to be Sam up there...it's going to be you they're burning." She asks, fingers tucked into the back pockets of her jeans._

 _Dean chuckles drily, "Running is never the answer, mom. As you well know it doesn't work. Me and Sam tried lots of times to get out, but there's no quitting. We've accepted the likelihood that saving people and hunting things will cost us our lives, and we don't run." She feels almost fearful of this bulwark of character in front of her._

 _"But..."_

 _"I'm not stupid mom," he says, voice hard, but the bitter sweet smile on his face softens his words a little. "You were leaving me with some babysitter you probably didn't even know to run amuck in Canada after a werewolf. You couldn't, can't stop...so it's whatever if you can't accept being alive or me and Sam..."_

 _He takes a bandana out of his back pocket and wraps it around his palm before picking up the axe again. He lets the axe fly and it lands heavier than his other blows. The crack of wood surrendering to his mere brute strength making her tense a little._

 _"...but cut the hypocritical bullshit."_

...

Granted, Dean had been an ass. But Sam had too. Who can blame them? Deals and death was a sticky subject with them, especially if one of the brothers endangered themselves. That incensed the other sibling to no end and Dean knew Sam would be pissed. But come on, it's not like Dean enjoys putting himself on the line...it's just that Sam is one danger-magnet son of a bitch, bless his heart.

So it's safe to say Dean sits sulking in the impala, because it's really not his fault, damnit! It sucks yes, but does Sam realize how hard it is for him too? When he thinks Sam is dead or dying; his soul being thrown into the freaking EMPTY its torture, it leaves him bordering on insanity.

Bottom line to Dean's point; Sam doesn't have to be such a little bitch.

It's fond aggravation and Dean knows Sam's anger will dissipate when his worry and fear abates. It still it's rankles in Dean's chest that Sammy's not more thankful, but you know what? He's used to it. After all you can't always be the good guy and be right. That might be a little self righteous but Sam has hated his guts many a time for doing what big brother thought best.

He decides he's not thinking about it anymore until they get up tomorrow morning. He opens up his door and swings his legs sideways out of the car. He doesn't know what it is that sets him on edge. But something makes the hair on the back of his neck rise, the muscles in his shoulders tense...he's up out of Baby, colt cocked and leveled scanning the garage before he gets another breath out.

He's puzzled and relieved when the room is empty. He tucks the gun into the back of his jeans, hand going over his face. He's probably just overtired. God knows the last twenty-four hours were enough to try a saint. He opens the back door grabbing his bag out and making his way towards the stairs when a noise grabs his attention.

Dean's always thought if the bunker had a weakness it was the tunnel which led out and onto a dirt road that opened up onto an old country road. It seemed way overboard and probably some douche Men Of Letters thing, it wasn't practical. And though Dean couldn't tell you a better idea he was pretty sure there was one.

Also it seemed like a break in the impressive defenses of the bunker. The warding on the tunnel wasn't half as strong as the ones on the bunker were. The boys weren't sure if it was never finished or if it was just a really poor oversight. But Dean disliked it...a lot.

That was why the warded and spell guarded seven-inch iron door between the garage and the bunker was always at least closed. Dean didn't have to worry about too much before going or bed in the bunker but making sure the kitchen was spotless, that there was more coffee, and checking that the garage door was securely locked and closed were three things he always did.

So Dean hesitates when his eyes fall on the black, gaping mouth of the tunnel, and is pretty sure an echoing whisper of some noise reaches his ears. The colt comes back out again and he leaves his bag at the tunnel doorway. He presses himself to the left side of the tunnel and begins slowly creeping into the semi darkness.

It's an nice tunnel, he'll give the Men Of Letters that much. The smooth concrete floor, tiled walls and dim lights barely illuminating the way. It's nice and creepy if you go in for that kind of thing. Dean likes the quietness and the coolness of the tiles under his fingertips. But truthfully the place has always hyped up his claustrophobia.

He carefully rewraps his fingers around the butt of his gun and walks on breathing evenly in and out of his nose. He's about to round the bend when he hears a scuffing noise around the corner. His entire body tenses and both hands come up to grip the gun firmly. He curses himself for not grabbing an angel or demon blade.

He crosses over stealthily to the other side of the tunnel and presses himself into the wall. Gun poised, finger on the trigger he whips around the bend.

The barrel of Dean's colt is right in the face of a person. A person who lets out a high pitched scream of surprise and fear as he catches a shimmer of gold in the low lighting. Dean's finger slips from the trigger and slides the safety on in a heart beat.

"Mom?"

...

"Dean?" Sam calls, rounding Baby's hood and slowly shutting the door. He also notices Dean's bag is missing from the car. Had Dean left? Surely not, why would he leave Baby? Sam thinks back to the stupid argument, definitely his fault. It's just when Dean does stuff like this he's suddenly twenty-five and scared and burying his brother's body. Or what was left of it when the hellhounds had been finished tearing him to pieces.

Sometimes he's reacted to Dean's rashness even before he realizes what is coming out of his mouth. It's panic and near insanity that overtakes him by the mind numbing fear...the memories that flash behind his eyes. Pale skin streaked with blood, green eyes lifeless and cold...loneliness that fills him with grief to the breaking point.

So yes it's his fault and he really does try to control it...but their Winchesters. Their lives have sucked to the very highest degree, there is aftermath and different forms of PTSD. Both the boys do their best to hide their scars but the way they stay sane is through each other and the strength that flows between them. And that's why everything goes to crap when either Sam or Dean are threatened.

Bottom line to Sam's point; he'd been a little bitch.

Wallowing in his regret Sam searches the garage for a sign as to his brother's goings on. He quickly finds Dean's bag at the mouth of the tunnel, Sam frowns as that and peers into the murky darkness.

"Dean?" He calls down into it again. His call echoes back to him and he nervously bites the side of his mouth. He holds his colt low against his leg as he slips into the tunnel and stays with the right side of the tunnel tight against the wall eyes and ears throbbing with concentration. All is silent and though he can't see much in the part way darkness he's not coming up with anything.

He's walked all the way through the tunnel and is growing extremely worried when he finally takes out his phone and presses on Dean's contact. He nearly jumps out of his own skin when an answering ring sounds mere yards from him. He can see the phone lighting up on the smooth concrete floor and he dashes forward looking at the mobile device and staring at it as if it can give him answers.

The light of Dean's phone is reflecting on something wet on the floor. He quickly activates the flashlight on his phone and looks down, his heart in his mouth, his hand grasping the colt with terrifying angry strength...Dean's phone lies facedown in a pool of blood.

...

 _Dean lights a wad of newspapers and places it to the lighter fluid drenched funeral pyre. Three bodies go up in flames and Dean respectfully takes a step back. Mary watches his face, the hardened features keeping emotions so close to surface barely hidden. She joins him, fingers the ring on the chain around her neck._

 _"You did this...for John?" She barely gets the words choked out. Her son tenses again, she seems to have that affect on him._

 _He nods._

 _"How do you..." she struggles to find the right words, "How do you go on after something like that?"_

 _Dean shrugs, "Its hell and feels worse than dying," he chuckles, "Trust me I know from experience." His eyes get a faraway look in them and his smile softens for John's memory. "But I had something to finish for him, had to carry his torch."_

 _"I get the impression the hunter was a lot different than the John I knew."_

 _Dean nods again, hand going into his pockets. "Dad changed, he was a real hardass." He laughs, "But he was still dad you know? It was easier for Sam, he didn't know what we lost."_

 _She looks down where the toe of her boot is making a hole in the dirt. "I never wanted him to know."_

 _She can feel Dean's eye roll though she doesn't see it. "He did everything for you, mom, it was all for you. And I carried that torch until I killed that demon son of bitch. And when he died he knew it was because of a blond headed mother named Mary Winchester."_

 _She is silent and he looks down at her. "So yeah, I've built more funeral pyres than I can count, but I've never run, and I've never turned my back on what he taught me to fight for. Family."_

...tbc

Thx for reading! REVIEW MAYBE?;)


	3. Part 3

Part 3.

" _So..." Mary starts and Sam looks down at her from where he's standing at the head of the pool table and they're wrapping Elvis' body for cremation._

 _"So what?"_

 _"Uhm...is it true, about Lucifer and stuff?" She asks, glancing at him with a mix of curiosity and hesitance on her face._

 _Sam frowns. "Yeah, its true. I'm the only one who survived being possessed by the devil. Cheers." He laughs uneasily._

 _Mary looks troubled. "How?" Is all she can manage._

 _Sam sighs and his fingers tap nervously on the table. "It's a long story mom. Basics; me and Dean were meant to be the true vessels of Lucifer and Michael, angel brothers who were destined to be immortal enemies until they meet on the field of battle and fight to the death, triggering the biblical apocalypse._

 _"Me and Dean couldn't have that so I let the devil in and then we fell back to the cage in hell where Lucifer had been imprisoned before."_

 _"You let him in?" She asks incredulously._

 _Sam nods, oddly comfortable with telling her all this. "Angel and demon possession are different in that an angel must have permission before entering a human's body. Me and Dean wouldn't say yes to Lucifer and Michael, but long story short it did us no good. Lucifer had to be caged again, and since it was my fault...enter me."_

 _Mary's brow is furrowed. "Wow."_

 _"Yeah I know, a lot to take in. Lucifer's out and about again, so that's why Jael was interested in me...he thinks he can use me to protect himself from Lucifer but truth of the matter is I'm pretty sure Luci's out for my blood."_

 _"How was it your fault that Lucifer was released?"_

 _She watches Sam tense, shoulder muscles clenching and releasing, rolling under his shirt. He swallows thickly and his eyes get dark._

 _"I..."_

 _There's a throaty clearing behind them and they both jump, looking to find Dean standing in the doorway, his face unreadable._

 _"Mom," he says gently, his smile soft as he looks at his little brother who has relaxed noticeably with Dean's coming. "There's some skeletons that stay in the closet no matter what."_

 _Mary fists her hand in frustration. It seems all she can do is bring up nothing but bad memories for her boys. Did they have anything besides bad memories? Dean doesn't leave them for a few minutes a careful eye on Sammy, and when he does Sam follows him out. Seems she's scared them off for now._

...

"Dean." Her voice echoes against the tunnel's cold, hard walls.

"Jesus! Mom..." Dean gasps, hand on his chest, heart beat coming down slowly. "What are you doing here?"

"Came to see you boys." She smiles sunnily.

Dean looks at her carefully, something not quite right about her, even knowing her as little as he does. There's something artificial about the generally good aura she usually has around her. Dean's been around a while and he knows when the joke is on him. He tenses and hesitates as she walks towards the garage thinking Dean is following her.

He watches her carefully and there it is; a kind of swagger in her step almost undetectable. Dean freezes, knows something is very wrong. The hairs on the back of his neck are back to standing straight, he realizes belatedly he's absolutely defenseless down here with a gun he dare not use on his mom, no matter what's wrong with her.

"Mom, what's going on?" He asks, a cautionary hand out in front of him.

She stops, but doesn't turn around, Dean stands confused for a minute before she slowly turns on her heels to face him. Slowly her face splits into a wide grin.

"You Winchesters..." slowly eyes fade to glow a reddish haze and Dean's fists clench tightly. "Not so easy to pull the wool over your eyes as the rest of the funny little hunters."

"Jael...get out of my mom, you bastard!" He seethes out.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Jael tuts. "Just as rude as your standard hunter though. Relax Dean, I don't mean Mary any harm...though I'd be uneasy if I were you too. After all you saw what I did to poor old Elvis. Twisty twist." Jael lets out a full body chuckle at that.

"What do you you want?" Dean asks lowly.

"Oh c'mon Dean Winchester," his mom's body walks towards him with an unreal, elastic spring in her step. "Don't play coy with me...top player to top player you know what I'm after."

Dean clenches his teeth, "I'm tired of this conversation, sorry, try again later. Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus..."

A deep, unnatural laugh rises over Dean's exorcism. "You think I came here open to the very thing that has been my weakness twice over?"

Dean is breathless when the last words of the exorcism leave is lips as Jael reaches him and backhands him hard across the mouth. Dean's head snaps back with supernatural strength behind it and his vision blurs. He feels his lips bust over his teeth and the tangy taste of blood fills his mouth.

"Watch your mouth boy," Jael hisses, gripping his chin in his hand and pulling them face to face. "We're about to spend some quality time together, just you and mommy, and it'll be a lot better for you if you learn some manners right. Now." He delivers blow into Dean's stomach with his last word and Dean groans, but stays on his feet.

"Go to hell." He grits out, blood dribbling down his chin, a cold smirk on his face. Jael just chuckles lightly and grips him tight around the throat, backing him up against the wall. Dean grimaces, and tries to push the hand and arm away from him.

"Struggle all you want little human," Jael coos to him, "Even the great Dean Winchester is no match for me."

That's when Dean notices that the sleeve of his mom's coat has risen above her wrist. There's a dark burn there and Dean's heart sinks. The last time he'd seen one of these it had been on another family member's body as they beat him to a pulp.

The binding sigil Meg had burned into Sam's arm and kept her safely snug in his body.

Jael follows Dean's gaze and he gives him a toothy grin. "Seen one of these before have you? Always full of surprises, that's what I like about you Dean. So you know me and mommy are exorcism safe? Good. Now we can get down to business. You're gonna call dear Sammy boy down here."

"The hell I am." Dean responds, spitting out a mouthful of blood and salvia gathering in his mouth while struggling to breathe. Jael presses harder against his wind pipe and Dean lets the back of his head fall against the wall. He's well beyond worked into a corner.

"Ah ah ah..." the demon teases, "Don't forget about mommy dearest...so easy to break her all to pieces."

Dean just raises his top lip in disgust.

"You're a stubborn one aren't you? Not very worried for mother are you, all about little bro, you are. But do you honestly want to protect that freak you have for a brother? You're a hunter," he jabs his finger into Dean's chest. "You should hate him."

Dean just lets out a bitter laugh and levels a hard gaze at his mother's face. "You're not getting shit from me."

Dean's head is thrown back forcefully into the wall and then his body is plummeting to the cement floor, forehead smacking flat against it. His vision blurs and darkens, his eyes water and he finds himself drooling blood lying face down as he comes back after a millisecond blacked out.

He curses his mother's apparent preference for heavy footwear as Jael kicks him three times in his stomach. He groans and tries to curl up on himself. Jael stands over him and grips a handful on his hair, pulling him up so he can whisper into his ear.

Dean feels blood running down his face, knows his forehead is probably split open, and head wounds always bleed the worst. He splutters a breath through the warm, slick liquid as the angle Jael is holding him at makes it very difficult to breathe.

"I know all about you Dean..." Jael whispers into his ear. "I know you won't break, wouldn't break if I kept you locked up and tortured for a thousand years...but freaky Sammy will break for you."

"Don't. Call. Him. That." Dean spits out.

"Do shut up." Jael sneers. He slams Dean's forehead into the floor with the hand in his hair and the hunter goes limp underneath him. He grins at the mess of blood and salvia on the floor. "Dear oh dear Dean, such a messy guy." He giggles through Mary as her slender finger writes with blood upon the lower part of the wall.

MOM

He chuckles as he wipes the blood off onto Mary's pants. "So clever Dean," he says to himself, "To leave a clue for Sammy to follow..."

...

"Damnit." Sam curses, he squeezes his eyes shut staving off the panic he's so familiar with. He's pretty certain whatever or whoever took Dean is long gone by now. He slips his colt back into the waistband of his jeans and phone shines the flashlight around for any clues. Acting calm, man's would help him be actually calm.

The smell of sulfur here is almost overpowering, his guess about Jael had to be right. The fluorescent light catches on something low on the wall. He leans over the puddle of blood to peer at it. In shaky hand writing is one word; Mom.

Chills run up and down Sam's spine and he knows forces of evil are working against all of them this time. Now there's three Winchester to use against each other. No wonder his brother had been taken with apparently so little fight.

He has a feeling there's something more to his brother's hint than just meets the eye. Suddenly he remembers earlier that morning watching Dean activate the GPS on Mary's phone. He had frowned at Dean's encroachment of her privacy then but now he's pretty thankful for it. He pockets Dean's phone and hurries back towards the garage.

In the library he pulls up the phone service on the iPad and tracks her phone in a flurry of adrenaline rush. His heart stops in his chest when Mary's location appears on the map. Definitely not their day today.

Lawrence, Kansas.

...

 _Mary jumps when Dean appears beside her in the shed at the back of the big house. She's looking for some gas or some lighter fluid. Her oldest son seems to just materialize where he wishes, but then she guesses that's the 'legendary' hunter coming out in him._

 _"Sorry about earlier." He says, his voice deep and soft, like even here in the dark shadows behind Asa's family house Sam might hear him._

 _"It's okay," she answers, soft smile shaping her lips upwards._

 _He crosses his arms disguising wrapping his arms around himself, but she recognizes it for the self comforting posture it is. "Those were dark times for us, Sam especially. We don't talk about it." He glances back down at her, face troubled. "It's not good for him, triggers him, you know."_

 _Mary lets a hand run at her forehead, "God, I'm sorry. I didn't even think..."_

 _"It's okay," Dean says, smiling kindly, "You couldn't have known."_

 _"No," she says, "If I knew you like I should, if I wasn't..."_

 _He's silent, letting her berate herself._

 _A quietness reigns between them as Dean spots and grabs an old rusty can marked gasoline. She rocks on the balls of her eyes watching him. His brow is creased probably thinking of before mentioned dark times._

 _"I'm sorry," she rushes out. "But I need to know, was it because of the deal I made?"_

 _He levels a clear gaze at her, there's not anger or blame in his tone or in his bright green eyes that reflect hardships and wisdom._

 _"Yes."_

...tbc

Mary's really getting the hard truth from Dean. I really love it! And I'm actually really enjoying writing Jael, he's definitely a little more cray cray then some other demons. More coming soon.

REVIEW perhaps? :)


	4. Part 4

Part 4.

 _Mary stood in the Asa Fox's living room. She had poured every drop of alcohol in the house down the drain. The rate at which Mrs. Fox had been drinking was frankly alarming. She was trying to think of other places people were most likely to hide booze. She taps her foot contemplatively, eyes scanning for ideas._

 _She hears heavy footfalls and she looks up to find Sam standing in the doorway._

 _"They're about to light it up, I thought you'd wanna be there."_

 _She nods taking another slow look around and Sam hesitates._

 _"What are you doing?" He asks, taking another step into the room._

 _"Preventing Asa's mom from dying of alcohol poisoning, it wouldn't be what he'd want." She chuckles drily. And Sam sees Dean in her for a heart beat._

 _Sam glances through the doorway into the kitchen and laughs a little at the empty bottles literally the countertops by the sink. Could you see the fit Dean would throw if he pulled that one on him?_

 _"Mom," he coughs out through a laugh but sobers quickly. "You might wanna leave her secret stash, she did just lose her son and only family."_

 _Mary stops at that. Hears the familiar turn in Sam's voice from happiness to sadness. Realizes he knows what that is like, wonders how many times she would have found even Sammy drowned in liquor. Realizes her son's are used to being all alone in this world. That they depend only on each other for companionship, loyalty and love._

 _That they risk that much more than anyone else. It takes only one bullet, one slip up, one smarter werewolf, one stronger ghost or demon and that's it. That's everything. She feels the crushing weight of their reality now that she knows what they are like together. She couldn't imagine either one of her boys alone._

 _She doesn't imagine either one of them surviving alone._

 _"You've been there." She says quietly, almost to herself._

 _Sam clears his throat, "Yeah, been here four times too many..."_

 _So the stories were true. Everywhere she ventures tales of Dean and Sam Winchester proceed her sons, she literally shudders at some of them._

 _"You drink?" She asks._

 _He lets out a scoffing laugh of his own. "Oh yeah. I think 'drowning' would be the right term." As if he read her very thoughts._

 _"So four times for Dean, how about you?" She asks as nonchalantly as she can, sitting down on the coffee table._

 _"Two, nearly three, Dean barely managed to pull me back, that last time." He buries his hands in his pockets and lets his foot slide across the floor in an edgy way._

 _"Oh my god," she rushes out, "I'm sorry, this is probably something you don't ever wanna talk about."_

 _He laughs and lets his frown clear, "No mom, whatever, whatever you need."_

 _And Mary realizes this is what Dean had been guarding against earlier. Sam would give her whatever she needed, regardless the affect it had on him. Dean knew that, and that was why he'd stopped both of them for Sam's sake. She now understands what Dean knows from experience. Sam will give and give of himself until he's worn down to the bone and then there is hell to pay for him and for those who work so hard to protect him._

 _She decides she's not going to push things, she can't imagine having Dean Winchester's rage centered at her. And she really, really REALLY does not want to trigger her baby boy._

 _Sam however has different ideas._

 _"So you know mom," he says softly coming to sit beside her and the coffee table groans in protest under his bulk. "That's six times between us of coming back, of having to learn to live again. We're with you and we understand, let us help you." She can hear the plea in his tones and her heart aches._

 _"How..." she wets her lips with her tongue, "Did you always want to come back?"_

 _Sam doesn't want to lie, but doesn't want to tell his mom how he hated Dean for saving him. Sam doesn't know what to say._

...

Sam revs the impala and tears out of the bunker's garage and down that stupid freaking tunnel. Dean's lucky the Men of Letters built the damn thing so wide or else his baby probably would have been a little scratched up on the sides. Then he and Baby are out into the cold, clear night air and they start racing for Lawrence.

There are times when Sam gets glimpses of what Dean sees in the car. Moments when he almost feels her personality like Dean insists he does. Now is one of those times, he feels like that car drives faster and smoother over the asphalt, hears her humming and rumbling along...feels like she knows she's racing to save Dean.

Each pocket of his coat holds a flask of holy water. He bears Ruby's knife and the angel blade even though he knows they are likely not to do them any good if Jael is truly possessing Mary. He reviews different exorcisms in his mind, tries to think which ones are more powerful, which ones might work given another chance. Thinks of what he's heard of Asa Fox and tries to guess what exorcism might tickle his fancy.

Suddenly he's remembering the Chinese mind control Toni Bevel had used on them, and how Dean had already known about it. This had prompted Sam to thoroughly research the method and as far as he knew he could work it. This was definitely the beginning of a plan.

The birds are beginning to chirp, and the horizons are beginning to glow with hints of golden sunlight when Sam rolls into Lawrence. He remembers all too well the way to the family home even though he's only been there once and that eleven long years ago. There's an oldish banged up ugly-as-sin Honda sitting out in front of the run down house.

Sam breathes with relief, realizes the house has been uninhabited for a while now. He opens and shuts the car door as quietly as he can and walks around to the trunk. He pops it open and retrieves a bag of salt and a can of spray paint. He shuts the trunk and then silently makes his way across the front yard in the gathering morning mist.

He reaches the front door but doesn't go in. He opens his bag of salt and quickly lays a line, then he carefully and as quietly as he can paints a devil's trap onto the front porch. He does the same for the side and back doors. Lines every window with salt. Then he spray paints a sigil on all four corners.

The same corners he and Dean had put those little hex bags into so long ago. Before so much...before everything. He looks over his work contentedly with a cold smile on his lips. Nothing was getting in. More importantly and the reason behind all his labor; nothing was getting out.

Slowly he places a hand on the doorknob and turns it. The door opens with a creak and Sam steps in, shutting the door behind him. The house is empty, cold and silent. He can't see very much due to the dim early morning light but he remembers the house perfectly. And he knows enough about demons to anticipate his presence would be wanted in the basement.

He's aware this is a trap to lure him in, but hell, Dean and Sam had gotten themselves out of much worse situations before and besides Sam wasn't about to in a million years not come for his brother. Hell of high water, he'd always be on his way to Dean, he'd always save him...they'd always either win or lose together.

He opens the basement door and is immediately almost sickened by the stench of sulfur billowing up to him. He slowly descends the stairs, the room cleared from the last time they saw it...Dean sits slumped in a corner, Mary stands a yard or two away from him watching as the youngest Winchester comes on the scene.

"No! Sam..." Mary snaps her fingers and Dean's mouth slams shut, he's eyes going glassy as the back of his head and body is snapped against the wall by unseeable power.

"Dean!" Sam calls, hurrying towards him. Plan, spell...all lost with the sight of the blood caked side of his brother's face, his white skin and the way his eyes focus and unfocus on him.

He's pushed back as well though, as Mary flicks her wrist, and an invisible wall blocks his way.

"Dean isn't speaking right now," Mary says and Sam seethes, if looks could kill this demon would be nothing but fumes.

"Jael." He says menacingly. "Let my brother and mother go, and I'll deal with you."

Dean struggles where he sits and Jael laughs. "Dean and Mary aren't our stars in this story, Sammy Winchester, it's you."

"I know," Sam says lowly, "So lets get them out of the picture."

Jael laughs, and Sam shudders at the sight of his mom acting so abnormal. "No can do, man of the hour, as you may be."

"What do you want then?" Sam asks, growing desperate, this thing far out of his control.

Jael rolls up Mary's sleeve and turns the arm with the binding sigil burned into it towards him. Sam grits his teeth even harder, exorcisms out of the question then.

"I'm assuming since dear old Dean here knew what this was you do too?"

Sam nods.

"Here's the deal, SAM," Jael rolls his eyes, seemingly not a huge fan of the name. "Me and you be bunkies for a while and I give us one of these nice little burns, don't worry it won't hurt...oh wait. Well, it won't hurt me," Mary giggles manically and shrugs, "Details."

"Once we're nice and safe and cozy, I let Mary and Dean go, not a scratch." He glances at Dean's bloody countenance and purses his lips perplexed, "Or NO MORE scratches that is...cross my heart, hope to die." The demon crosses Mary's heart sillily. "And trust me, dear mum can die."

Sam scoffs, "Why should I trust you for a second?"

"Sam, no!" Dean yells out in a slur, managing to straighten himself.

Jael is beside him in a millisecond. He pushes Dean up against the wall with a hand on his throat, raising him until his toes dangle from the floor. "Thought I told you to shut up?" He asks, looking into Dean's eyes watering with the loss of air.

He cocks his head to one side, "Oh, I did." With demonic power he tosses Dean across the room. Dean hits the cement wall with a loud thud and tumbles to the floor. Sam can hear his scraping breaths through dry lungs, but he isn't sure if he's conscience since Dean stays facedown.

Jael sighs deeply and turns back to Sam dusting off his hands, shutting Dean Winchester up, a job well done. "Now, where were we?"

Sam grits his teeth and clenches his fists, eyes on his brother's still form. "Why, in hell, should I trust you?"

Jael clasps a hand over Mary's heart gasping, resuming their conversation as if he hadn't just brutally choked a man and thrown him into a cement wall.

"You wound me Sam..." when no one laughs at him he rolls his eyes. "I'm a crossroads demon Sam, you sign a contract, we kiss, voila! I'm bound by the rules of hell itself to live up to my end of the deal."

Sam cocks his head to the side, "Kiss my mom? Even I know nice boys don't kiss their mamas, but then you wouldn't know anything about that would you? ...think I'm gonna have to pass Jael."

The demon's expression grows cloudy, Mary's usually sunny expression contorted into something so hideous Sam wants to turn away.

"Fine Winchester!" He spits out, "Have it your way." He smooths hands down Mary's body, fingers running through golden strands. "I like this vessel...Mary will be my captive until she wishes she'd never come back from the dead, not like she doesn't feel that way already. And as for you and Dean..."

The demon pushes Mary's hand, palm facing outward towards Sam and flicks it towards the corner where Dean lays. Sam flies into the wall with a crash and slumps to the floor with the strength of the impact. Jael straddles his legs and runs fingers of one hand through his hair until he grabs a handful of it and pulls Sam's head back exposing the column of his neck.

He forces Sam's eyes to meet his. Beautiful blue crystals that were supposed to bring so much happiness and joy into the brother's lives clouded with foreign, angry red haze.

"As for the famous Winchester brothers? ...you can die together just like you have always wanted."

...

 _Sam freezes and Mary is scared she's officially screwed up and triggered her youngest boy. But Sam levels a world-wise, tired look at her. His eyes glistening with feeling. He holds his head slightly to the side as if he thinks very hard. And for all the world Mary could not see anything else other than a puppy dog._

 _"You know mom, I don't think it was ever about wanting to come back...but just the fact that we didn't go together."_

...tbc

OMG! Honestly I don't know if I've ever enjoyed writing something so much! Prolly won't post again until Friday or Saturday.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! (If you're thankful for this fic, review and tell me!) ;)


	5. Part 5

Part 5.

" _You wouldn't have stopped me, would you've?" Mary asks, almost a whisper._

 _He looks at her steadily, green eyes sparkling in the sunlight._

 _"No. No I wouldn't've."_

 _"Why?"_

 _Dean slips hands into his jacket pockets and looks at her a sad-knowing look in his eyes._

 _"Billie was right, mom. You can't go on living when your dead inside. I've been there I..." he looks down and swallows thickly. "The last time I lost Sam I was alone for over a year. I got out of hunting...it was his last wish. I made a life for myself but..." he shrugs his shoulders and smiles a little coldly._

 _"...I wasn't living, I wasn't alive, I was stuck in this miserable, hazy existence. And it wasn't until I saw him again that I felt something inside me come back to life and I hadn't even realized I'd been so dead until I had him back and showing me what life really was._

 _"And ever since then, mom, I've known that I can't ever lose him, cuz I can never live like that again. Live and be dead. So that is why when we go for good, we will go together because we are the purpose behind each other's lives."_

 _He leans back against Baby, giving an unobservant Sam a warm smile. But he looks back to her with a serious, troubled expression on his face._

 _"But if you can't find that purpose, that spark...that reason to get up every morning...I wouldn't want you to live that way, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. So if that's really how things are then this life definitely isn't for you."_

...

"As for the famous Winchester brothers? ...you can die together just like you have always wanted."

Sam shows his teeth and growls making Jael chuckle, "Any last words Sam Winchester?"

"Yeah," Sam breathes out. And he sees Jael falter with the heat and fight in his eyes, he doesn't feel Sam slipping the angel blade from his sleeve and drawing his fisted hand all the way down it.

"Xi." The one syllable spell falls from his lips in a rasping gasp, but it's enough.

The force with which Sam's mind is screaming at him to annihilate the threat currently sitting on his lap shoots Jael off him as soon as he utters the word. Jael's surprised face is priceless and Sam is left slumped against the wall gasping in relief.

He rolls onto his knees and gently pulls Dean up by his shoulders, cradling his upper body in his arms. His brother's face is swollen, a mean cut in his forehead. It runs from his hair line all the way down the start of his nose, much like the one his brother received in the fatal car accident with their father so long ago.

Fingertips are pressed against Dean's throat counting out a steady pulse. He sighs in relief and gives Dean a pat on the chest. Then he slowly rises to his feet and turns to face Jael who looks confused at Mary's hands and feet that he can no longer control.

"How..." he starts off brokenly.

"You screwed with the wrong people is how." Sam answers shortly. He circles around the frozen figure of his mother for a moment. "How does it feel to be the one being put in a bind...oh wait," Sam stops, finger in the air, his head cocked to the side as if thinking hard. "You don't care about anything deeply enough to feel real fear of losing it. Except one thing..."

Sam grabs his spray paint and begins a master piece of a greater Solomon's key on the floor surrounding the demon. He watches at Jael begins to squirm.

"Starting to burn a little?" He asks, innocently, "Won't burn for long, gonna finish you off good once and for all."

Jael shrugs, hiding a shudder behind it. "You can't and you know it. No one has been able to before."

Sam gives a chilling smile, "Like I said, you screwed with the wrong people. Me and Dean?" He points to his brother on the floor. "Who might not look like much right now...we've killed things before breakfast for a little exercise that would make you mess your pants."

A satisfied smile spreads over Jael's face, "Ah yes I know, only one weakness...each other. And I played you." He hisses out venomously.

"Lesser monsters than you have done it," Sam sneers, "Elementary."

He watches Jael breathe in deep with that blow to his pride.

Sam laughs. "God, what is it with you demons and your egos? Must be to make up for the lacking of," he motions to Jael, "All that's lacking."

The demon bristles, but Sam just laughs at the feral expression. "Now to ending you on a more permanent level."

Jael laughs, "You cannot kill me in your mother without also ending her life."

"Oh yeah? Watch me."

"It will kill her, it takes more than a little prick with some shiny angel blade to kill me. It'll have to be a thorough stabbing; in the heart."

Sam chuckles and he comes to stand right in front of Jael, looking down into his mother's face. "That's why this Chinese mind-control is all the rage Jael, you are quite suggestible right now."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning when I draw every atom of your black shit from my mom's body and crush your very being into non existence you won't suffer half as much I'd wish."

A myriad of emotions cross Jael's features and Sam's heart leaps into his mouth at the sound of a low, drawn out groan from the dark, far corner. His eyes jump to where he left his brother on the floor and his moment of distraction costs them dearly.

He feels a jump of power cross the connection between himself and the demon and before he blinks he's on his back and Jael is chuckling. Icy cold, dark power is slithering around Sam's bones and through his veins, feels it flirting around his mind like a whisper of a bad touch.

"Sammm, no," he hears Dean slurring his name and is aware of his brother raising himself up against the wall and dizzily leaning against it. He knows Dean is most likely pretty out of it and rakes his mind for a plan of escape.

"Oh, oh, oh Sammy. So sweet Sammy. You work so hard to save everyone. And, and, and, here's the real punch in the gut...you almost succeeded." The demon chuckles, kneels with Sam's angel knife and scratches out a segment of the Solomon's key. He saunters over to Dean, "But not quite."

"And no matter how much I'd like to play with you by 'playing around' with your brother and your mother...no matter how little she or Dean care about her life. Isn't the right Dean?" Sam tenses at that and Jael grabs Dean by the neck of his coat and drags him back into the light, throwing him to the floor only feet away from Sam.

"But I think I have something much better in mind." Jael laughs and kneels beside Dean a hand on the center of his chest.

"I always thought, 'Why is Sam the chosen one?' Dean is just as strong as you, was meant for Michael, an arch angel stronger than the devil. And..." he gives Dean a dirty look up and down, "...Unused."

"You sonuvabitch!" Sam hisses, fisting his hands, "You leave him alone, it's me you want!"

"You're right," Jael says calmly. "It was only when I met Dean that I finally understood his undesirableness as a vessel, because believe me he is very desirable in other wa..."

"JAEL." Sam grits out in frustration, "Posses me or kill me, stop with the foreplay!"

"Psh," Jael says, waving his hand placatingly. "Don't be rude. Point is Dean is very unsuggestable. He's all loyalty, and brother, and righteous man. He's completely original, he's all perfectly, uniquely Dean. His very being flashes a big red light at all demons and angels, he will not be lead to do anything he doesn't want to do.

"And then, then there is you." Jael leaves Dean's side and straddles Sam, again, across his stomach. "Sam Winchester. You want to believe, you're all feelings, love and questions and belief...you search for more. You're a complete mess of human confusion and open to suggestion twenty-four/seven. The very dream of an angel or demon."

Jael shakes his head shamefully. "And then...then there's your mother! Oh, a real gem. You should see the mess in here. She really isn't sure if she wants to live or not. Can you believe that? She has a chance to finally know her little Sammy, who she ruined his whole life, and she doesn't even know if she wants it or not. How does that make you feel Sam?

"And you know? Your brother thinks she shouldn't go on if she doesn't want to, he thinks if she has no purpose she should go with you boy's reaper friend."

"Shut up." Sam grits out, "You're lying."

Jael chuckles, "It's a bitch when demons start telling the truth, isn't it? Or have they always told the truth and humans just never believe that their deepest darkest secrets? We see inside."

Jael wraps his fingers around Sam's neck slowly as if getting the feel for it. "So instead of using your goody-two-shoes of a brother, or coo coos nest of a mom to break you? I think I'll just take Lucifer's prize pig for a joy ride."

...

" _Are you saying you think I should've gone with Billie?" Mary asks a little hotly._

 _Dean laughs low in his chest, "Mom, can you honestly stand there and tell me you wouldn't have gone with Billie if I had tried to stop you?"_

 _He laughs again at her indignant face. "You forget, I'm your son and I've been around for a LONG time. I know a Winchester can't ever turn down a challenge."_

 _Mary realizes she doesn't know how she would have decided if Dean hadn't been there making that arrogant, know-it-all face seemingly daring her to give up and roll over. She realizes she wasn't the only one who knew this. Dean had known it long before she had and hadn't urged her to stay purposefully, counting on the fact that she would feel challenged by his lack of faith in her._

 _"Smartass." She mumbles._

 _Dean's face splits open in a grin. "Like I said been around for a while, been dealing with stubborn Winchesters for all of it."_

 _She laughs with him, but sobers after a moment. "So if you think I shouldn't even live if I can't find a 'purpose' then why did you do it?"_

 _"Why did I ingeniously stop you from leaving with a DEATH REAPER?"_

 _Mary rolls her eyes._

 _"Because, regardless of how purposeless you seem right now. I don't believe that's your case mom." She looks up at him and he can see all her doubts and fears and hopes pooling in them. "I think one day when you're out there floating around by yourself in shitty motels and diners you're gonna open your freaking eyes and realize that you're not gonna find what you're looking for out there by yourself."_

 _She glares at him with the obvious condescension in his voice. "And I'd be nicer about it," he says with a polite smile on his face, "If I didn't think you already knew that. Isn't that right, mom?"_

 _She frowns and crosses her arms. "I don't know, I don't know anything right now."_

 _Dean huffs and shakes his head in disbelief, opens Baby's door and sits. Sighing in relief to be surrounded by her again. "See ya soon mom."_

 _"How's that?" She asks, hands on her hips trying not to smile at his smugness._

 _"Trust me," he says eye brow arched. "We'll be seeing ya around."_

...tbc

Thx for reading! We're coming closer to the end here. But what about Sam!?

REVIEW if you like this!

Hope everyone had a great holiday!


	6. Part 6

Part 6.

Sam levels a world-wise, tired look at her. His eyes glistening with feeling. He holds his head slightly to the side as if he thinks very hard. And for all the world Mary could not see anything else other than a puppy dog.

"You know mom, I don't think it was ever about wanting to come back...but just the fact that we didn't go together."

"So when you did come back how did you handle it? What gave you the strength to go on?" She asks, fingers tapping on her knees.

He shrugs. "I'd have never done it without Dean. I wouldn't hunt without Dean." She's coming to recognize the faraway sad, nearly afraid look in his eyes when he remembers things. "I didn't even always want his help, in fact most of the time I didn't, but he never left me, he never gave up on me and slowly I started to see what he was trying to show me.

"Our lives really aren't that great, but we have each other and that's why we go on, that is why we always keep fighting. Dean needs me; and that's why I keep going."

She nods slowly looking at the floor.

"I guess when I ran I just assumed everyone had a breaking point and I had reached mine, but really maybe I was just weak." She says softly, thinking back to all the stories she's heard of her sons, of John.

Sam shakes his head smiling softly. "You were anything but weak mom. You found something good and held on to it, there's nothing weak about that. No one is ever gonna fault you for turning your back on hunting."

She looks up at that. "So you do think I'm wrong to distance myself?"

Sam shrugs, "It doesn't really matter what I think, if living with Dean has taught me anything it's that you're gonna do whatever you think best regardless of my opinion."

She raises an eyebrow, a sly smile sneaking on her face. "You think Dean and I are similar?"

He laughs outright at that and she loves the childish sound of it and the way it brings out his dimples and the sparkle in his eyes.

"If you knew how many times every day for the last eleven years of my life I've seen that sly smile on another face you wouldn't have to ask that. You and Dean are very much alike."

"He's angry with me." She says softly, though the soft, happy smile at being told she and her oldest boy are alike doesn't fade.

"No," Sam says with another smile, shaking his head. "You'll know Dean is mad when you see it. He's disappointed and he's scared. And he thinks you're full of crap. He's never rolled out the red carpet for anyone before. I guess he's not starting with you." He chuckles at his brother, god, he loves the man and his personality.

"Life and people haven't been particularly easy on him so I guess he doesn't have much reason." He says demurely.

Mary looks up at that. "It's always been hard for you two hasn't it?"

Sam nods keeping his gaze on the floor. "But especially for Dean. All the chips have been down for him since the beginning but he's never given up, never given up on me. And I haven't been much help, haven't been there for him when it counted."

Sam looks at her fleetingly with a sad smile on his face. She sees shadows of memories and dark times pass over his face, can almost feel his heart sinking with their heaviness.

"He loves you." She says softly, laying a hand on his forearm and rubbing it soothingly.

"Yeah," Sam agrees nearly under his breath, smiles at her softly, tenderness and fondness in his own eyes. "Yeah he does."

...

A slithering, dark, cold feeling rushes through Sam, familiar like he'd felt it only yesterday. Possession. Dark presence flooding his mind, weighting his hands and feet, slowing the beat of his heart until it is all he can hear. Panic rushes at him from all directions and he is plunged into darkness.

It's the dreaded feeling, one he still has nightmares about. It's the feeling of drowning, trying to swim towards air and the light you can see but can never making it to the surface. The knowledge of the fact that if you do not find the air you will die. No two ways about it. And yet you are absolutely powerless.

...

Mary gasps awake just in time to see the last bit of black smoke disappear into Sam's lips. She hears Dean mumbling, pleading.

"No, no, not again. Get out of him, you bastard!"

Sam's eyes blink open and they glow a hazy red. Jael sits, stands. A booming laugh resounds from Sam unnaturally.

"By the devil himself!" He exclaims, "I've never felt such power, so much life. I'm beginning to understand the appeal." He looks over Sam's palms, runs the hands down his chest, fingers through silky hair.

"And I thought Dean was the vain one." He laughs, "This majestic mane has got to take some serious man primping time."

Mary can feel Dean's eye roll.

Jael pats himself on the chest, "Never parting with you Sammy Winchester."

His eyes only darken in their hue of red with power and intent as he looks to Dean and Mary. "Now to deal with the attachments."

Dean is already on his knees fingers closing around the discarded angel blade. Mary lays on the floor, fazed and vision swimming, not sure if she is herself or not. She's coherent enough to scream at Dean when, with all his strength, he throws the blade at Sam.

"Dean!" She screams in panic, "No, you'll kill him!" Even though part of her knows he's not that stupid and must have a plan. Jael catches the blade midair and blood dribbles down Sam's wrist and to the floor.

"Sam." Dean says, in his firmest voice yet that Mary has heard. "I'm here, I'm not leaving you."

Sam's hands fist and slowly the red haze starts to fade from his eyes. "How is this possible?" Jael asks breathlessly, panic evident in his features.

Dean raises himself to his full height shakily. "You really thought it was a good idea to posses the only man who has ever had the strength of will to overpower the devil himself and throw him into the cage? You really thought you could control that kind of power?" Dean smirks.

"You're his bitch now, Jael." Mary watches in shocked amaze as slowly weak tendrils of black smoke, soon becoming a steady stream, starts to appear from in between Sam's lips. The blackness snaps and flickers with its evil energy but wavers in front of Sam in complete submission.

It hovers in a reddish black cloud over his upturned palm and then Sam opens his eyes and they're his kaleidoscope gems again. And they're snapping with anger and passion.

"You screwed with the wrong people." He says again evenly. "I may be suggestible but I am far from weak. Hell or high water I come through for Dean. Whether it's the devil himself or some miserable, groveling crossroads demon."

The air is taunt with electricity and then Sam slowly draws his fingers in to form a fist and with a clapping 'boom' the aliveness in the dark cloud goes out without a fight. Black ash falls to the floor and slowly disintegrates until there is nothing left but a dark smudge.

Eyes rolling back into his head, Sam plummets towards the floor.

...

It's through tunnel vision that Sam sees Dean struggle to reach the angel blade and toss it at him. It's then he feels his brother same as ever, sees his eyes and knows his intent. Dean's right; he should be able to perform the mind control spell on the demon even though he's inside him at the moment.

It takes all his strength but he lifts his hand and catches the knife flying towards him. It slices his palm wide open and he focuses all his mental power at the dark cold, presence within himself as he feels his lips forming the one word.

He hears the words. The words that had changed their lives so long ago.

"I'm here Sam. I'm not leaving you."

Suddenly he feels the power returned to him, surge through him. All semblance of opposition is gone. Jael is once again under his control. Slowly he begins to mentally pick out all of Jael from inside him and pull it away. He feels the darkness leaving him, feels it's hesitance. But it can't even put up a decent fight.

He opens his eyes and Jael's dark essence floats in the air above his palm. He feels cold exuberance fill him as he does as promised, destroys Jael. And it is a lot less painful than he wishes it could've been.

There's a smile on his lips when gravity dissipates and all goes dark.

...

Dean closes the impala's door but the window is rolled down. Mary leans herself against the door and taps her fingers on the window sill. Dean settles in baby, and smiles up at her, a bit of her own mischievousness in his smile.

"What is it?" He asks with the bluntness she's really starting to love about him.

"The times when you came back..."

"Yeah, what about it?" He asks, and again she watches a frown subtly come into place.

"I just, how did you come back from that? How did you learn to live again?" He watches the confusion swim in her eyes for a moment.

"It's very simple mom, I think I already covered it too." He looks up at her, and she already knows what he's about to say as she watches those emerald anomalies.

"Sam needs me...I need him. When push comes to shove, that's what I live by...that's why I get up in the morning. It's been that way ever since dad gave him to me when the house caught fire and I don't think it will ever change either."

He watches the breath catch in her throat, her eyes go a little wide. "I...I didn't know that."

"Yep." Dean says softly. "So yeah, it's always been me and Sammy against the world."

...tbc

Thx for reading! Leave me some love ;)


	7. Part 7

Part 6.

 _Sam joins them, he leans against the impala beside Mary. Seemingly ignorant of their conversation. He turns off the iPad and sends Dean a sunny smile._

 _"Are you ready yet?" Dean asks, with an exaggerated eye roll._

 _Sam just purses his lips, "Shut up Dean, you're in no hurry."_

 _Dean makes a face. Mary laughs at them. Sam turns towards her, face softened for her._

 _"You gonna be good? I know all this with Asa hit kind of close to home." Dean watches them interact with a happy look on his face, he's silent simply wanting to watch Sammy and their mom finally get to just talk._

 _Mary nods, hands slipping into her jeans pockets something her boys are starting to pick up as a nervous tell. "Yeah, I'm good. Sure I got Asa into hunting but he made his own choices."_

 _Dean and Sam nod at that, they can respect that. They made their own choices, their mom would have to make hers just like Asa. And most likely in the end, their choice would cost them their lives, just like it had Asa._

 _"So will we see you soon?" Sam asks, straightening, and rounding the impala's hood to get in his seat. Mary looks at him over her hood, and then smirks at Dean through the window._

 _"I'm sure I'll be seeing you around."_

 _Sam smiles at that, knows his brother has probably already half convinced their mom to come back. He sits in the impala and shuts his door. And leans so he can see her through Dean's window._

 _"Call us if you need anything." He says with a gentle smile and Dean nods, pointing her with a stricter face._

 _"Anything." He impresses._

 _Mary hold up both her hands. "Swear."_

 _"See ya." Dean says easily, cranking the impala up._

 _"Bye mom." Sam echoes and then they're surrounded by lazy sounding Bob Seger and Dean is smiling, welcoming the oncoming drive and miles and miles of sunny highway. Mary grins at the music choice and waves goodbye as they leave her in their dust. They both give her a last glance through the review mirror._

 _A dark fear both of them can't place settling over their hearts and her memory. They're scared and they hate leaving her on her own and yet she gives them no choice. They have to respect her decision not matter how faulty they know it is. Even if it feels like they're being rejected and it tears them apart._

 _They both know loving her, really loving her is letting her do what she needs to...no matter how much it hurts them._

...

Dean throws himself forward and catches his brother's limp form before his upper body crashes into the floor. They end up in a heap but Sam's head is safely cradled against Dean's chest in the crook of his elbow. He can feel a minute trembling going through Sam, and is scared of the possible aftermath to his brother being possessed again after so long.

Mary shuffles over to them on her knees. "Is he okay?"she asks, shakily.

Dean throws a glance at her, "Just give him some space." He says gruffly.

Mary knows she's probably dehydrated and needs to eat, that's the reason for the dizziness and lightheadedness. But somehow she still manages to throw her eldest a bitch face at his order for space as he only pulls Sam closer to himself.

Suddenly cold reality rushes to her as she takes in the picture in front of her. Dean with his legs tucked under him, his baby brother cradled close to his chest. Sam's long legs bent and spread out beside them. His face half hidden in Dean's coat and his hair knocked askew by the fall.

She watches with the air knocked out of her by the power that is her sons.

Dean lifts a shaking hand and gently brushes hair away from Sam's features. Next those fingers press against his neck, stay there a few moments and counts the beats that assuage the panic, the insanity that is boiling just under Dean's surface.

Her oldest son's fear is tangible in the room. And when he finally feels Sam's pulse she watches as he pulls Sam impossibly closer and hides his face in Sam's shoulder for few seconds of heavy breathed relief.

Mary Winchester finally sees it all. These are her sons, these are the moments that made them who they are. She would never remotely understand the power of the bond between them. She would never be allowed to hold and cradle Sam that close, Dean would never be so vulnerable or sweet even for her. They are each other's infinitely beautiful weaknesses, and they don't ever, ever want to change it.

They like it that way. They came to grips with it a long time ago. It is the privilege they only trust with each other...it's the risk they take to have a reason to get up in the morning. Their reason to always keep fighting.

She watches Sam subconsciously turn towards Dean, watches as he tenses and relaxes. Watches Dean gently coax him back to the waking word. And she knows then that they are her reason even if she will never be theirs.

"Sammy, c'mon back now, you did so good. He's dead, you killed him man. You're scaring me, can you wake up for me little bro?" Dean's low litany of one sided conversation fills the air and Mary watches as it unsurprisingly works, Dean called to his brother and he is coming.

Sam frowns and purses his lips. He turns his face entirely into the comforting darkness of Dean's coat and mumbles an objection against it. His hands first and Dean slowly takes a hand into his and forces it to relax. Sam allows him and slowly relaxes, eyes fluttering open to slowly focus on his brother's face.

"There ya go," Dean smiles softly. "You good? Sam?"

Sam is still and quiet in his arms for longer than expected, Mary thinks he's just getting his bearings and enjoying the safety of his current situation. Dean is giving him time but gently urging him upright, though his arms don't leave him.

Sam gives a sort of sighing grunt and slowly smacks his lips as he sits, still using Dean for reinforcements. "Dude, were you holding me?" He cracks a dimpled grin.

Dean huffs, "Pfft, no. Couldn't hold your giant ass if I wanted to."

Sam rolls his eyes, pushes Dean away without sincerity. "Whatever squirrel."

"Yeah okay, moose." Dean shoots back seamlessly. And Mary is officially confused.

"Mom, you okay?" Sam asks, where he's still sitting slumped on the floor. Dean is staggering around the room gathering the colt, angel blade and spray paint.

"Yeah, I'm good." She answers carefully rising and holding a hand away from her for balance.

"Woah," Dean says and appears beside her with an arm around her shoulders, the closest he's been since she left. "Careful there."

"Probably dehydrated," Sam says, looking at his bloody hands. "Hungry too?"

Mary nods. Dean and Sam look relieved that it's nothing more serious. "There's something in the car." Dean says lightly.

He squats beside Sam and takes his hands in his own and looks them over. "It would be funny if it didn't scar and hurt like a bitch." Sam says with a smile. Even through the blood you can see the white scar of the last cut on his palm. Dean smiles distractedly and takes his bandana and rips it in two, he wraps each wound carefully and ties off the make shift bandage.

"Alright," he grunts, as he throws one of Sam arms over his shoulders. "Up we go." They stand together and Sam gains his feet, head swimming only a little. "Good?" Dean asks.

"Yeah," Sam answers, "Just kinda drained." Dean gives him a shrewd, alarmed look. "Not like that." He says quickly, meaning, not like with demon blood. "That spell took a lot from me, I think." Dean seems satisfied.

"You got it?" His older brother asks, "I can take mom first and come back for you, don't want either of you falling down the stairs."

Sam nods, bottom lip caught in between his teeth, "I've got it, right behind you."

Dean nods, grabs up the weapons in one arm and then supports Mary around the waist with the other, making their way up the stairs slowly. Sam takes one last look around the room before leaving. He thinks about Lucifer out there free and roaming probably still harboring anger and resentment towards him for turning him down so many times.

"I'm still stronger than you." He whispers, fists clenched. And not because Lucifer is in his head, or because he can see him, simply because Sam is prepared and he's not scared. Not of demons, not of Lucifer, not of the future, not of the very real possibility their mother wants nothing to do with them. He's ready to face whatever is coming as long as Dean is with him.

When he comes out of the house the morning sun hits him full in the face. Warm, bright. Light and life, the breeze is flying around him dusting his cheek with a peaceful feeling. Dean is waiting for him in Baby. He can see Mary in the back seat, he is happy to see Dean has given her some water and beef jerky.

He slowly makes his way to the street and slouches into his rightful seat in the impala, sighing in relief.

"You good?" Dean asks, hands on the keys in the ignition.

Sam nods with a smile, "You?"

Dean winces, pressing a palm against the somewhat gapping wound in his forehead. "I'll live."

Sam chuckles, "Yeah, I know the feeling. That's your face, we might should get a professional to look at it?"

Dean nods regretfully in agreement. He flashes a look in the review mirror at Mary.

"Mom?" He asks, and it's all hanging there in the air. Has she finally chosen them? Can she see they are better off together? Can she face the fear that she might not fit, of the possibility that they are too changed...that she is too changed?

Is she ready to realize that her coming back is a gift? One to take advantage of, not to waste in questions and fear. Is she ready to accept that loving in this life is putting your life on the line. Because if you lose the one thing that keeps you going then you're dead as well. If she is by herself she won't loose them like she lost John. There is safety and security in loneliness. Is she ready to take the risk in order to live life to its fullest?

Mary had watched the exchange between her boys in the basement, and then in the car. Sam says 'it's you're face, we should see a professional' and Dean agrees. Sam doesn't want Dean scarring, doesn't want to do the stitches on his brother's face in fear of marking him up. Dean agrees, all benevolent and easy going and willing for Sam to call the shots now that everyone is for sure okay.

He looks back to her sweetly and asks he without so many words, "you coming with us, or you bailing again?"

And how much she wants to stay with them! But she sees it there under his skin. "You coming with us or are you bailing again...hurting Sam again? Hurting me again?" And she is afraid. Not of Dean or Sam, never. She is scared of herself, she's scared she will hurt them. Hurt them worse then she already has. She can't face that fear, she's not that strong.

If the last forty eight hours has taught her anything it's that they are nowhere safer than when they are together and she's not about to slip into that perfect protection and ruin it. She believes once again that her place is adrift somewhere in the great American frontier. She won't accept there is a home for her. She can't accept that they are willing to take the risk of letting her into their lives.

She's not willing to let them take that risk.

She mumbles goodbye to them, hand on Sam's shoulder and then on Dean's then she's gone. They watch her run across the yard and climb into the car. Dean doesn't wait for her, Baby rumbles to life and they're away rushing back to Lebanon, home and a professional stitch job.

Mary watches them go heart in her throat, bitterly aware she's making a colossal mistake.

...

Home. Sam takes a huge breath of bunker air as the door clangs shut behind them. God, it was good to be home. Dean sighs behind him and Sam watches his brother begin to descend the stairs. Dean's got wrinkles in his forehead and tension in his shoulders telling Sam about the pain he's in.

True head wounds bleed a lot, but they also hurt like a bitch stitching them up. The doctor had been quiet and considerate, with long slender hands that managed to make stitching up a bloody wound look pretty. Not that it Dean much good.

She told him it was a shame his pretty face was all screwed up with a wry smile on her face. And Dean had given her a genuine smile. Sam could tell he'd found one of those few and far between humans that connected with Dean. He had never been able to figure it out, but some people just understood Dean, and Dean just liked certain people.

She'd complimented and insulted him in the same breath and Dean had liked her for it. Sam shook his head knowing he'd never fully understand his brother. He followed Dean straight to the kitchen. And watched him with a confused face.

"What're you doing?" He asks finally, as Dean gets out the stuff for sandwich making.

"Making lunch." Dean answers easily. "Your hands are all screwed up, gonna be dependent on me for a while, little brother." Sam groans at the mischievous look on his face.

He takes a seat on the stool beside the kitchen island where Dean is building a sandwich, unaware of how hungry he was until Dean said something about food. "You're only making one." He says flatly.

"Yeah," Dean nods, "Banging head, gruesome stitch job, not really feeling like much of an eater just this second."

Sam is surprised for some reason by Dean's thoughtfulness, though he knows he shouldn't have been. Dean had been taking care of Sam for so long it was second nature to make Sam lunch, even if he himself wasn't hungry.

Sam just takes the sandwich when it's offered to him, knowing it would be useless to argue. "Thanks."

"The pleasure's all mine." Dean shoots back, batting his lashes. Sam just waves him off with a fond smirk digging into his sandwich. He was a lot hungrier than he thought, but Dean had always known him better than himself.

Dean sits a glass of ice water in front of him and Sam mumbles his thanks through a full mouth. Dean shakes his head, "After all the preaching you do to me about manners."

"What? I was hungry." Sam says, with only a slightly less full mouth.

"So," Dean starts, "That was a little weird."

Sam nods, "We should have totally seen that coming. She needs a tattoo asap."

Dean agrees and leans against the counter, his elbows resting on it. "I'll text her a bit later."

Sam takes a bite. "You sure you're good?" Dean asks again, "No scary ass flash backs of possessions and you-know-who?"

Sam shakes his head firmly. He cocks his head to the side with a strange smile on his face. "You know if anything Dean? This made me feel better. I'm still stronger than him, always will be...as long as you're there to egg me on." He gives Dean a happy grin, showing lettuce stuck in his teeth.

Dean returns with a genuine grin of his own. "That's my boy." He straightens with a groan and begins the leave.

"Where you off to?" Sam asks, stopping him in the doorway.

"To sleep until you find us another case." Sam rolls his eyes and waves him off. Maybe if Dean was finally getting some rest he could too. After all it is each other that keeps them going. It's got its perks...but definitely has its cons as well. Sam thinks they'll both sleep fantastically tonight.

They have fears and doubts for their mother's future. After all they can't look out for her when she's so far away. But they aren't afraid for each other. They have each other's backs, it fills them each with confidence and peace. Excitement bubbles under both their surfaces. Their future as brothers, as hunters...together is unmeasurable, is unforeseeable, the possibilities so big it takes their breath away. For once in their lives they stand equally side by side, totally in tune and filled with trust in each other. The future is something they are excited for. They are ready to live.

Hell or high water, come what may...they lived to fight another day.

...

 _"I don't like it." Sam frets as they cross the American border. He doesn't have to tell his brother it's their mother he's worried about. Dean knows._

 _"Well, I don't either. But nobody asked us."_

 _"She's going to get hurt." Dean nods in agreement. "And then where will we be?" Sam asks petulantly._

 _"We'll have to go save her ass and the she'll have to say, 'sorry boys, you were right boys, can I come home boys?'" Dean smirks to himself over the steering wheel._

 _Sam shifts his body to face Dean, he fixes him with a doubtful gaze. "You really think it'll be that easy."_

 _Dean arches an eyebrow at him, "Probably not, but a guy's allowed to dream right?"_

 _Sam chuckles. "She is so stubborn. Just like..."_

 _Dean laughs and smiles too, stopping him. "...just like you."_

 _Sam looks offended. "I was going to say 'just like you' before I was so rudely interrupted."_

 _Dean shoots Sam an innocent grin. "Oh c'mon Sammy, we both know you're the most stubborn."_

 _"No way!" Sam shakes his head passionately, "Not in a thousand years."_

 _Dean looks at him shocked for a moment. He slowly concedes. "You know, whatever Sammy. Guys are generally more stubborn than girls...so makes sense." He shrugs easily._

 _Sam throws a dirty napkin from the seat in between them at his brother's head. Dean dodges, but swerves on the road into the wrong lane. Cars all around them honk their horns obscenely loud._

 _"If you make me crash my baby..." he says in a threatening tone._

 _Sam laughs hysterically and Dean eventually gives in, a smile sneaking its way onto his lips._

 _"Bitch."_

 _"Jerk."_

the end.

Thank you so much for going on this adventure with me! Each every one of my readers means so much to me! I love you all!

This is the very last chapter so if you've read this and enjoyed it please please, PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE leave me a REVIEW! :) ;)

See y'all soon. Can't wait for Thursday!

 **(((((I'm thinking of writing a Christmas story something like this;**

 **The boys call to check on Jody after her possession. When she finds out the boys have no plans for the holidays she insists they come spend Christmas with her. But when Mary realizes how close to Christmas it is she wants to be around her surviving family. Dean and Sam tell her they have plans but invite her to Jody's house. Jealousy and feels ensue.**

 **With appearances by the wayward daughters. And holiday grouchy Sam because I love it! Haha.**

 **Lemme know in the comments if you would read it!?)))))**


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